Reminiscing on some moments of confusion in my years as a single waiting for a spouse. I realise some of us or most people go through this confused state and it can be difficult. One sure thing is that if you are very sincere with yourself, that can be a lifesaver.

I remember in the early years 2000; I had two friendships that had the potential to progress into a serious relationship. How did I know you may ask? Well, I carefully used the word “potential “. The interesting thing is they both communicated this to me with codebook!

Yes, guys can be interesting and may show their potential interest or pass a message in different ways. It is up to ladies to unravel the meaning if you can. Anyway, the first code I received was “waf2dend” meaning “we are friends to the end”. About same time,guess what the other friend sent me a code, and it was “bless2geda”. Bless together. It was funny then, but it confused me as I didn’t want to lose my chances and just wanted to do the right thing.

Lessons learnt

  1. When we pray for our spouse , the response may come in different ways. It may be one man showing up or more than one person and if you don’t know what you really want, if you are not at peace with yourself, it could be very confusing. When you focus on what you think is the best for you, especially the physical, without relying on God’s leadership, you may never hear God’s voice, even when He is shouting and saying something contrary to your feelings.
  2. We need to discern by His spirit who to respond to. Know that some suitors just come as time wasters to confuse you, so after you have sent every other person away, they will walk away and you find yourself back in square 1.
  3. Sensitivity to the Holy spirit is Key. It takes faith to say yes or to say no. Yes, because you trust, this is the way to go or no because you believe something better is coming and you wouldn’t settle for less. Now in my story, both friendships never progressed like I thought, but I learnt my lessons. Are you at crossroads now? Or have been in a “should I say yes or no situation?” Let’s hear it.

God’s blessing will always enrich your life. We get more confused when we are drawn away by our own desires above some realities. We can talk it through, pray about it, and see what wisdom we can get to take a position. Sharing with the right person can bring some relief.

God bless you.

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